You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.

A likes B. A tells C,D, E and F. E tells G . A gets pissed off at E for telling G.
A finally tells H. H helps A get B's number from I .So now A has B's number.
D overheard B and B's friends planning to make the first move. Its been a few days
already, but...nothing. A is tired of waiting. A doesnt even know if its A they're
talking about. Should A make the first move ? Or should A just give up and move on ?

But everything that happens, its all pre-determined and meant to be.
I cant change your destiny. I guess i'll just keep moving and maybe
someday i'll get to where im going..

AHHHHHHZZXXZZSSLKSDLKDDLKASDFGHJKL>
Why thou art runneth thy deny love by and sworn by thee art thou romeo ?
(Btw,that has no meaning whatsoever except to sound shakespeare-ish)
Oh I am talking nonsense again. Someone slap me.

So baby i'll wait for you,
Cause i dont know what else i can do,
I really need you in my life,
No matter what i have to do i'll wait for you.

Joan and me stared at Wanning today and told her we knew her biggest secret.
Amanda thought we really knew her biggest secret and she was like -__-
(Joan see, your name's in my post already ^^)

I was restless throghout today cause, well. Just because.
And..and..and.. i cannot take the suspense anymore.
I MUST KNOW WHO THE FUG THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
IF ITS ANTHR GIRL HOW ? HOWHOWHOW? HOW NOW BROWN COW ?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I...... MUST..... KNOW..... MUST. MUST. MUST.....................
Dont give me false hope please please plsplsplsplsplomgxzpls.
You know, everything something nice happens, i will be damn happy at first
then i will think of all the bad possibilities so that i wont get my hopes
up and get totally dissapointed later on.

Thanks Clarissa and Belynda for waiting with me for one whole hour.
What a waste of time. because. because. because. See lah this is
what happens when you assume -_- fuggg i feel so stupid.
ohkehz you wanna ask faster ask lah k im dying of suspense.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can
cross the road without their motives being questioned.

OMG MY FIRST 20 CENTS!
(okay people, scroll down until you see the ads thing on the left then
click on the UNIQUELY SINGAPORE thing on the top right hand
side of the banner please thankewwwwwwwww ^^)






hahahaha yay even though my blog viewership thing is low. And inconsistent.
but hahahaha yaaaay i have 20 cents ! DO YOU? HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE.

---------------

MERLISSA OH MY GAWD WHUT DA FFFFFF AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
But it could have been another girl you know ): But thanks ah hahahaha.

Anyone wants to lend me an adventurer's shirt ? Im planning on
sitting with adventurers during the national day thingo.
-
I carried my new bag to school today and i kept asking people
if the bag suits me. See lah thats how insecure i am.

Okay i really dont know what to type so im just randomly typing
things out. Mhmkay actually i DO know what i wanna talk about
but im not gonna do it here. AHAHAHAH cause its too obvious later _
read my blog how hahahahahaha. Eh merlissa tomorrow tell me again
cuz i cant get enough of it leh haahahahahahaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Mmkeh buaizzzizizizzzxx.

I'd rather live my life to the fullest than conduct
myself in a certain way to gain approval from others.
I have no regrets, and especially no apologies.
-Paris Hilton

I like her (girl in pic) hair. I wanna cut like that when i graduate ^^

There, formal picture i didnt put up ytd. Click to enlarge ^^
(sera looks so buay song hahahahahahaa)

Had tuition this morning at 845 am at Jalan Senang -__-
Went to get my fringe cut at loyang after that.
okay nothing much today.
------
To realise the value of a sister,
ask someone who doesnt have one.
To realise the value of a year,
ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realise the value of 9 months,
ask a mother who has given birth to a stillborn.
To realise the value of a month,
ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of one week,
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper
To realise the value of an hour,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of one mintue,
ask a person who has missed a bus, train or plane.
To realise the value of one second,
ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realise the value of a milisecond,
ask a person who has won a silver medal in the olympics.

And to realise the value of a friend,
lose one.
-----

update later.

I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song.
'I want you to want me.'
Boom. End of story. We all want to live happily ever after.
But its never really like that, is it ?
-Johnny Tucker Must Die.

Merlissa knows my dirty lil secret. Haha, oei, the only other person
who knows is Clarissa okay, so you better KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT !
HAHA OKAY OKAY ?

Anyway today was rhd, and most of 3/1 turned up in traditional costumes!
yay! haha. I came to school in my uniform and changed after that. I look very weird
lah! Next year im going to wear a cheong sam, haha. Mmm, i was sweating like a
pig during morning assembly which made my fringe super wet and ugly.
And I looked super sick in photos.

Lets begin with my favourite picture ! :


Ms Lee still owes me the rest of the class pictures.
Cause we took like, alot.


Elyse wore a kimono. The skirt part was so straight she had
difficulty walking, sitting and standing. hahaha.


Couple pic ^^


Danny wasn't supposed to be in the picture -__-






Veh ugly here put i put it up cuz syaz looks cute.
gahahaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx














Mr Suffiyan during chem.


And everyone wants to hold jasper's leg -.-


Core geog guys, 3/1 and 3/9


Core geog girls, 3/1 and 3/9


We had so many cameras pointed at us everyone was looking at different
areas -_- (See yintong looks so gay. hahaha I show denise then you know ^^)
So funny, i felt like i was in a photoshoot leh !
'One more one more!' -__-


Renee and Evan.



Okay thats done.
I didnt do much of the collage thing cause the pictures are too nice ^^
And see lah, i xin xin ku ku make all the edges of the pics round.
ah whatever lah alyssa.

And a bigger version of my fave pic, hahaha. SPOT ME SPOT ME ^^



Everyone didnt have the mood to study, haha. So difficult to concentrate
when im wearing something so scratchy and warm -__-

Mhm, went to tampines and i bought a new bag. I think im
gonna carry it to school on monday! Haha, okay overall today was quite
fun lah. Even though I looked and felt like shit.

Mmmkeh byexx

The only way to accept an insult is to ignore it.
If you cant ignore it, top it. If you cant top it, laugh at it.
If you cant laugh at it, You probably deserved it.

Hi. The girl in today's picture is actually a man ^^
I went for tuition at my uncle's place last sunday & look :



I saw this when the lift door closed. Omgxx i'd be so paiseh if it were me -__-

Anyway, tomorrow's racial harmony day and i've already tried on the
baju kurung (sp?) Sophie lent me. Andddd, i look...weird. We're
supposed to be at the parade square wearing the costume before the bell
rings at 7.25. like omgxx i dont wanna sing the national anthem/pledge
looking like an idoit !

HAHAHA. Oi, Clarissa/Merlissa I dont feel like wearing traditional
costume anymore ! hahahaha but i dont wanna pay five bucks -__-
And Merlissa you better come to school or not you have to treat half the
class to a drink of their choice leh. hahaha.

Kay i have tuition (yawn) soon. May update laytah.
Or not. ^^

I'll wait for you till the very end,
till you know that i will never be able to forget you.

No matter how hard I try.

Shit day. Except during SS where i got high with siu/clar.
And physics. Where we learnt about wavelengths, and Mr Woo was telling
us about the lamda, and Lendl couldn't stop smiling cause, well, its sounds like
his name. And Yasir/Akiff was like: " LENDL LAMDA LENDL LAMDA" -_-

Kay. Nothing else.
---------

A soldier who was sent to fight in a war was finally able to return home.
He called his parents," Mum, Dad, I'm coming home. But I have a favour
to ask. i have a friend i would like to bring home with me." "Sure", they replied,
"We'd love to meet him." " There's something you should know about him though."
the son continued. "He got himself injured in a pretty bad state while at war.
He stepped on a mine and lost an arm and a limb. He has no where else to go,
and i want him to live with us."

However,his parents said,"I'm sorry son, perhaps we'll find him a place
to live." " No, mum, dad, I want him to come and live with us."
"Son," his father said, "Some one in such a situation would be a burden to us.
We're got lives to live. We cant let something like this interfere with our lives.
I think you should just come home and forget about the guy. He'll find a way
to live on his own."

The son hung up the phone at this point. His parents never heard from him
until a few days later. They received a call from the police stating that their son
had died after falling from a building. They suspected that he had committed suicide.
The grief stricken parents rushed to the scene immediately and were taken to the
city morgue to identify their son.

They recognized him, but to their horror, they realised that their son only
had a arm and a leg.

----------



WHY SO SERIOUS ?

^^

Dance as though no one is watching you,
Laugh until your body aches.
Live as though heaven's on earth.
Love as though your heart wont break.

Supzzz. Changed my url cause my mum knows about my blog.
Plus im bored of my old url. And change is good. hehehe.
Merlissa said something nice to me today. HAHA. I WONT TELL YOU
WHAT SHE SAID ^^ MERLISSA WO AIIE NIIEXZ !

Anyway, overdued pics from family gathering ._.



Mum is in brown. Aunt is in hot pink.
Looks so nice (*puke*) here but she's a bitch in reality.













Joan.
Best cousin in the world.



Mm. bye.

Always hold your head up high,
Even if on the inside you're about to cry..
Pretend that nothing's wrong at all,
close your eyes before you fall..
If you cant see it, its not there
This is life, and its not fair.

(Wordy post ahead. You can Alt+F4 now or grab a cup of coffee
and make yourself a sandwich.)

Im typing everything from the top of my head so forgive
me for any spelling/grammar/sentence structure error etc.
and also if paragraphs dont seem to link to one another.
keh whutever.
----
The aunt from hell returns. Remember my previous post (Thursday, June 5th)
about how she yelled at me and my mum cause I used her aircon in the daytime ?
Yeh well this time (okay, yesterday) she screamed at my mum cause my mum
forgot to turn off the washing machine switch. Not the power button, the switch
where the washing machine plug is connected to.

Ever since the government told us how turning off all switches when we
aren't using the appliances can save more electricity which in turn can save more
money, she's been obsessing over this matter. I tell you, every single switch in
this house is turned off. Not the power button, the switch where the plug is
connected to. You know what i mean lah. And by 9pm the house is pitch black.

I swear one day im going to turn off the switch to the refrigerator. Then all her
food will go bad. And when she scolds me for doing it, i will tell her that im
trying to help her save electricity. How dare she shout at my mum ?
Who the hell does she think she is ? Even a tenant gets better treatment.
She doesnt like my old maid cause she does a very sloppy job in her opinion.
So my mums hired her (maid) back part time to clean the house and iron
ALL our clothes including my aunt's and guess whos pays her ? My mum, duh.

And people can wait for her, but she cannot wait for people. There was this
time when i was still in lower primary or something. My father came back
from some camp and didnt bathe for like 2 days. So he wanted to take a bath
before we left for lemongrass for dinner. Reasonable right. But noooo she was
so frigging impatient and DROVE OUR CAR OFF TO THE RESTAURANT
FIRST AND ORDERED ALL THE FOOD. BITCH. and we had no transport
so we had to take a cab there. My father ended up not going cause he was so
pissed at her and he told my maid not to " let that woman into our house."
And thats why he still doesnt talk to her to this day.

Also, my mum welcomed her with open arms when she was sick and had
to stay at our place (back then) cause she's single and had no one to take care of
her. My mum let her have the guest room all to herself and use the aircon
practically the whole day but she doesn't appreciate my mum's care
and generosity.

So anw, my mum offered her an extra 100 bucks to shut her up. She (aunt)was
yelling her head off. Fucking scary. My mum was like, " The most i'll pay you more."
And my aunt blew up. " BLOODY HELL ! What are you trying to say? Lets lay it out
on the table right now ! I've been tolerating you and your daughter from day 1.
You makes me so boiling mad!"

She earns about 6k a month as a lecturer at singapore poly, has a side
job as a yoga teacher which gives a an extra 700 bucks, and my mum pays
her 550 a month for a room. She has no husband or children to support
and yet, over this mere 100 bucks she's willing to strain ties with her sister.
This is how stingy and calculative she is.

She has underlying meanings behind all those outbursts okay.
Partly she's mad at my mum cause there was this time not long ago in vietnam
where she was so tired she thought my mum's contact lens box with hers
so she accidentally threw my mum's contacts down the sink. So obviously my
mum indirectly asked her to pay for it, So i guess she wasnt happy lah.
And you are not allowed to outsmart her. She cant stand people who are better
than her. My mum showed her some new yoga poses she could do, and she
didnt realise my aunt couldnt do them, so yes. she got angry all over again.
She's such an unreasonable and mean person I bet she's gonna become
a beggar in her next life. 90% of all her outbursts has something to do with money.
ass.

We might be kicked out soon or something cause my aunt really hates us now.
Anw we have to find a new place to shift to cause my mum cannot stand
this place. I take back every single mean thing i ever said about my mum.

We had this long talk in the car from raffles back home where we both ended
up crying & she told me about how much she hated her job cause of her boss
but she cant quit cause she's old now and companies wouldn't want to employ
people over 40. Her boss knows she needs this job to support me and he uses
it against her. and about how hurt she was cause of the way my dad
treated her, and how hurt she feels everytime someone says,
" like father, like daughter." ( FYI mostof my extended family looks down
on me. and my dad.) She told me to work hard and not let people predict my
future for me.

So, it isn't enough that my parents are not together, my aunt whom i live with
treats me like the devil's spawn, there are people fighting and yelling and throwing
stuff around everyday in this rented hell hole of a house, most of my extended family
look down on me and now hahaha i dont even have a roof over my head. I dont even
know where the fuck im going to stay now. My mum's thinking of buying a house in tampines but guess what we dont have enough cash -_-

Even though money cant buy you happiness it sure as hell
would solve many problems.
-----
I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you.
I know what its like to wait for everyone to be asleep so that you can break down,
for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end.. I know exactly how it feels.

Adults think that we're supposed to be happy just because we're young.
But they dont see the wars that we fight everyday. One day that war will
end. And i will not die.
- Freedom Writers.

and a completely different topic :

Why would i go on a search again,
when i know what the end will be.
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me

I'm not going through the motions,
waiting and hoping you'd call me,
I'm not missing you.
you might have had me open,
but I must be going 'cause,
I've got life to do.
I know im usually hanging on,
I used to hate to see you go.
but this time, its different,
I don't even feel the distance.
I'm not missing, I'm not missing you.
-Stacy Orrico
------
I dont know if i should cry,laughor get angry etctetc.
Jeez my life's like a fucking drama serial.

You still mean everything to me,
but i guess you're just not worth the fight anymore.

(edited)

KONKON. Today i realised that i super looooove my seating
arrangement/position in class :



When im bored, i can just turn around for a good gossip with Clarissa.
Danny is there to make me laugh with his funeral song and to interupt
Clarissa when she's trying to talk to me. Merlissa is there to give me one of
her skeptical looks that make me laugh. And her sarcasm. Siu is there is tell
me dumb jokes and talk about totally random stuff like duck porridge.
Elyse is there beacuse.. her bimbo-ticness is.. amusing. And Lendl.
Lendl always helps me pick up stuff that i drop. Which means i dont have
to bend down or get out of my seat, No, im not making use of him.
He's just nice. hahaha.

Speaking of Lendl, he and Elwin didnt do their english worksheet that
Mdm Low discussed with us in class. She wouldn't let us go home until
we completed it, so they started copying MY worksheet -__-"
Lendl probably thought it was chinese lesson or something cause
he read the word "gang" (as in the gang in gangster) in hanyupinyin
pronunciation. OMGZ soo funny pls. He's like, eh, whats ga`ng ? -_-

Stayed back with Kel(mond),Kel(vin),Sel,Bel,Del,Clar,Zixiang,
Yintong,Elvin to wait for lee fong ting to finish her lunch.
Take so long one. Left with Clar,Kelmond,Sel and Elvin.

Im going to buy a puma watch. I asked how much ZX one cost,
and itssss... $160. Spoiler. I shall go find one on saturday ^^
And i still wanna pierce my tongue. I dont care.

Im going out for dinner later with my mum,extended family
and some relatives from hong kong that i've never met before.
My mum wants me to dress up cause this is the first time they're
gonna see me since i was a baby, but really, i have noooo mood.
Then, seeing how reluctant i was,she says there are two teenage sons
about my age. And im like, so ? If they're my cousins you cant possibly
expect me to like, flirt with them or whatever.

Not that Im tempted to.

Life never asked you what you wanted.
It's just gonna have its way and sometimes,
it doesn't give like it takes.

Clarissa's so nice to me today. HAHA.
She helped me copy my POA notes cause my lip was bleeding
like crazy. Plus i was waaaaay lazy. Anyway i finally understood
the bank reconciliation thing. Yay me hahaha.

I kind of sort of dont really like our math teacher.
She kept comparing us to 3/7 (Which, fyi, is the triple science class for
our year. Instead of 3/8) and im like yeah lah yeah lah we're not
as smart or as obedient as 3/7 but you dont have to talk to us
like we're dumb leh. You know? And she keep talking about
her lesson plan like as if we're so stupid we cannot follow the
normal pace or whatever. Oh jeez so annoying.

I kept laughing throughout today. im hooked to this chinese funeral song
that Danny taught me. hahaha. i wanna find out the tittle and the lyrics !
Even though it sounds damn... scary? I dont know. hahaha. And Jasper
brings ALL his books home after each school day. SO RETARDED! haha.
i cannoooottt stoooopppp laaauuugghhhinnnngggg ^^

! came down for lunch today. Im kind of sort of happy.
I think. I dont know lahxz. I feel like im stalking people
leh. hahahaha. Im gonna stop doing this. Let fate
decide lah hor. hahahaha. k whutever.


youstillmeantheworldtome.

You can spend minutes,hours,days,weeks,even months
analyzing a situation and trying to put the pieces together
justifying what could have, should have or would've happened.
Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.

I found old pictures of me in april's thumbdrive from early sec two.



I even haaaveeee..... a sec one picture.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Nah, hahaha laugh all you want ^^

--------

I saw this on Katherine's blog:

My eyes are screaming for the sight of you, I'm dying
to breathe the same air as you. I miss you so fucking much,
I'm holding you so tight,
The deeper you fall,
and yet i dont know what you're thinking.
Perhaps I'm over-reacting,but i'm trying really hard to forget.
I just want you to know, if you're not
The harder it is to get out.
making an effort,I'm letting go. I'm starting already.

And it decribes how i'm feeling to a T.

kthxbai.

All you had to do was just turn up for lunch.
That's all.

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept,
Things we don't want to know but have to learn,
and people we cant live without but have to let go..

(edit) GAH I REAAALLLY DONT FEEL LIKE GOING SCHL TMR.
THE WHOLE WORLD CAN GO AND DIE. OKAY EXCEPT BFF
AND MIGHTY 4. OTHER THAN THAT THE WHOLE FREAKING
WORLD SHOULD GO TO HELL LAH CCCCBBBBBBB ! (/edit)

I remember Gwen wrote something about this before
she deleted her blog:

This is how love is between two : First, its a cute,pink
love hearts filled cuddly bear taking over your heart.
Suddenly, all the blemishes and imperfections disappear.
You're in love. Hate to break your bubble, but its actually
called infatuation.

So, your infactuation with this boy begins. It all depends
if you're shy or not. If you are, you'll quietly stalk this boy,
not good. If you aren't, you'll put yourself out to him, not
good either. Yay! Either way,you got to know him better!
As your infactuation grows, so does the cute cuddly bear.

Suddenly, this boy breaks your heart! *glass smashes*

The cute and cuddly pink bear turns into a hideous,
evil,scheming motherfucker. You don't know if you should
feel upset, angry,happy,crazy or suicidal. You fall. You cry.
Whatever happened to I love you ?

Like i said, infactuation! You break down,you cry every
night. you try to understand the situation but it all doesn't
make any sense. So, you quickly find heartbroken msn
display pics to indirectly tell him something. Then you realise
that it isn't working. So you change your msn name too.

" I love you, but you dont love me."
"Why did this happen?"
"Drowning in my tears."
etc, you know ?

You break down even more. So you join some random forum,
and post endless threads about how your heart is broken into
a thousand pieces. You get these randoms to help you pick up
the pieces and mend your heart. Then this other boy comes...

History repeats.

Dear heart, I met a boy today.
Prepare to shatter.
-------

On a lighter note, i did this quiz thing yesterday and WTF.
Look :

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Gamer/Computer Nerd You enjoy the visual stimulants of a video game, chatting on AIM, or reading online comics. Most of these types of nerds are considered dirty who lack hygeine, of course they always end up being the ones who make a crapload of money. And don't worry, that's just a stereotype; I'm not calling you dirty.
Literature Nerd
Drama Nerd
Musician
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Social Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks! Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract Yuppies!
You attract artsy people!
You attract unstable people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Oh well. At least I know I'm *ahem* smart.
:D