i have so much to say yet i dont know how to say it. -_-
saw this on clarissa's blog, and i totally agree with it:

Love is when you shed a tear and still want him,
it's when he ignores you and you still love him,
it's when he loves another girl
but you still smile and say,
I'm happy for you,
when all you really do is cry..

ukfkdshfsdfisajoifjoidjoiidsfdsjfkdsjflkdsnkjsnvkjs87wf09w
i want to die (figuratively).
kill me pls.


fuck la im falling deeper and deeper and i have to bloody stop myself
before i cannot climb out. You know sometimes you feel so restless
and so-not-right when you dont see someone, and when you finally
catch a glimpse of him,even if its for a few seconds, you'll feel like
everything is perfect for that few seconds and you'll get that kind of
satisfied feeling (: Then you realise he'll never ever know abt your feelings for him.
and you know that school if for learning new stuffs/building your future etc,
and not for seeing someone. O levels are next year, i cannot let myself
get distracted by such things. On second thought, i dont think i will.
cause he'll be gradutaed by then, and will prolly forget abt me
(if he actually even knows im alive for a start).
And i dont fancy any sec-5-in-2009 guys or any in my level (sec3),
so i have nothing to look forward to when i go to school next year.
SO SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i should be a lesbian, so i dont have to deal with such problems.
i feel fucking dumb right now cause i keep hanging on even though i tell
myself again and again that nothing will ever happen between us. its all my fault
for being so idiotic cause i interpret too much and i give myself false hopes.
i keep telling myself to give up, but i canoooooott! howhowhow!
huh. i think i should just enjoy myself this remaining four months.
THEN i'll move on. how's that ?
i feel so much better now. not.
haiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
SO ANNOYING I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE.
oh. please dont ask who it is cause i will never ever tell you guys.
only ___ knows about it and she knows who she is <3
(:

[edit]MY MUM KEEPS OPPOSING WHAT I SAY SO FUCKING ANNOYING IF EVERYTHING I DO IS WRONG THEN YOU GO DO YOURSELF LAH KNNBCCB.[/edit]